so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
