i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
