he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
Randomize
