I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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