I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
tell your sister to shave her snatch
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
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