Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
She told me I should be a condom model.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Randomize
