i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
