she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Randomize