watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
Randomize