My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
no you cant smoke seaweed
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize