Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
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