I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
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