I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
Everyone says I win the strip club
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
