I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Randomize
