if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
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