May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
