Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
