don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
Randomize
