What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
She announced her abortion via fbk
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
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