i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
