Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
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