they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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