i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize