I woke up this morning with "guy in polar bear j.crew boxers" written on my stomach along with a 5 digit phone number...
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
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