You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
Randomize
