and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
Randomize
