Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
