I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
