"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
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