Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
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