arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Randomize
