Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
Princesses don't give blow jobs
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
It's rum buckets o'clock
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
Randomize