and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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