I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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