i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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