shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
Randomize
