Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
Randomize
