You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
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