In the future we'll all be gay
Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
operation have a gay friend backfired
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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