and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Randomize
