i just identified you from a description of your pipe
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
Randomize
