just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
Randomize
