You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Randomize
