I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
if only i could text you this smell
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
