I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
