Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
