I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
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