Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
