he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
