It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
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