What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
Randomize
