o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
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