she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Randomize
