Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
Randomize
