so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
Randomize
