I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
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