we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize