My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
Randomize
