these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
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