feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
I just forgot I was standing up.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Randomize
