Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
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