so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
The best revenge is premature balding
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Randomize
