U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
Randomize
