I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize