You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
you traded sex for a burrito?
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Randomize
