i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
