Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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