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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
You may now shotgun with the bride
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
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