there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
Randomize
