God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
you didnt know i had herpes?
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
Randomize
