hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
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