Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
Randomize
